A Dominican Retrospective: Part 7 of 10

FLOR

My aunt, whose name translates as Flower, is not my aunt at all but my mothers cousin. In my family we treat everyone of the same generation as siblings. I think it comes from the fact that everyone always grows up together. My mother with her cousins, I with mine, but the generation below us? That's another story.

I honestly don't have any memorable moments of tía Flor. She was always nice and welcoming and I played with her grandkids (who I considered my cousins) growing up but that's it. I knew little of her.

Being in DR a few months ago however I saw a different woman. A woman who no longer had children and grandchildren to raise. A woman who was now retired in DR in her big house and massive garden. A woman who would not smile. She didn't have to tell me how sad she was, I could see it in her lack of words.

Flor had a traditional marriage. Her husband worked in the military and brought home the bacon. She stayed home and raised the kids. Once that was over Flor had nothing to tend to but her garden. A magnificent garden it may be but just a garden at the end of the day.

There isn't really anything to be said about her husband (Week 7 Day 5). He's a typical over bearing Dominican man who thinks he has all the answers but that doesn't make him a bad man. Actually no it does... and I just realised Flor's deep sadness, I remember it now...

Flor has 2 sons and 2 daughters but if you ask her husband they have 2 daughters and 1 son. Their oldest boy is gay and was disowned in his early twenties (back in the 80's) and has been out of their lives ever since. I only met him once when I was about 13, as he was crashing with one of my uncles (also gay). I think his name is Sammy.

Perhaps now that Flor has only her garden to occupy her time she remembers her son and instead she sees the man that made him go away. This is just my assumption of course but when I sat them down to ask about their family histories (for my grandmother’s mother’s day present) she said 2 boys and 2 girls and Chago (her husband) corrected her.. her eyes gave him a sideways glance of death. I was too stupid to give it much thought at the time.

I hope Sammy is ok, wherever he may be, and I hope Flor has a way of staying in touch with him. I hope she has a secret that her husband can not overbear. But all I know is that for now Flor has her garden. A beautiful garden indeed.

IN FLOR'S GARDEN