The London Crazy

“If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y'know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man, " they'll shout!”
~ Matthew Perry (As Chandler on Friends)

Yesterday I was sitting at work with a very red eye. My boss told me to go to the walk in clinic so I did. As I sat there waiting my turn to be seen I noticed a man who was dressed in a doctors uniform talking on a cell phone sitting next to other patients. I thought it was an unusual place for a doctor to be taking a call but didn’t think too much about it.

After a few minutes I looked over to him again and realised he wasn’t on a cell phone. In fact he had his index fingers from both hands plugged into his ears. He wasn’t talking on a cell phone, he was muttering to himself. The doctors uniform is what really threw me, does this man walk around like this? I hope not, that’s when I noticed three full garbage bags at his feet and on the chair next to him. I dismissed him for a tramp and I was called in to the triage. The nurse asked me a couple of questions and sent me back out again.

When I sat down the man was now wearing a clown costume… just missing the big shoes, red nose and rainbow wig. I thought to myself “I like this guy.” He was again covering his ears and muttering to himself but this time more loudly. I suppose he was trying to keep the voices out, but I was surprised that none of the staff did anything about it. He was obviously in the wrong place.

After I got called in again and diagnosed, I made my way out into the pharmacy but made sure I got a glance of the man again. This time he was wearing a checkered (think lumberjack) shirt and jeans which you could pass off as normal… but of course he had to accessorise it with a big puffy Victorian ascot.

That man totally made my day.

For those of you who are interested I was diagnosed with Conjunctivitis aka Pink Eye. I was sent home from work and given drops to put in every two hours. I am highly contagious and highly annoyed.