Reverting to Clarity

"The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress."
~ Charles Kettering

The other day I talked about how I need to get back into what I came here for. That is specifically to make movies. So I sat down and started thinking about the stories I want to tell and I came up with a few options. There is a deadline coming up for some funding and so I figured I should focus on that, try to get my last film complete, and see what happens from there.

Then I started thinking....what films am I putting forward? All ones that have nothing to do with what I want to say, nothing to do with the reason why I went into filmmaking. It dawned on me that I changed....my views on the world, the idea of expressing my thoughts through film, using film to make a change. Now I make films to entertain....and there is nothing wrong with that...but it's voiceless...I'm voiceless.

Change is a part of growing up, I can attest to that....but because of the change I am no longer who I thought I was meant to be...or at least who I pretended to be.

The question now is...do I continue on this path or do I revert? To answer that question I think I need to ask another...are making the films I'm making now making me happy?

No.

Off track, that is what I am. Going back on it isn't easy but I'm already filling my head with ideas and a small sense of hope is returning. The real test now lies with my discipline and whether I can pull off this comeback....

In the end, if I can not establish my own personal voice, how else am I going to get people to listen to me?

Change brings progress...identifying bad change brings clarity.